Something Happened...

What would you do if you felt a pull deep within, urging you to change, to grow, to fully embrace a version of yourself that you’ve been too afraid to uncover?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for weeks. It’s what led me to write this blog. Before we dive in, I want to start with a disclaimer: this is different for me. This is a lot for me. I am putting so much of myself into this, and it’s scary, but I feel that this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.

After reading this, I hope to help someone— a non-believer, a believer who is doubting or questioning. I hope this is helpful. I hope you see me in a different light. Most of all, I hope you can understand the struggle I ONCE had and how God met me in that struggle.

Around the week of January 7th, I was convicted to fully rid myself of a particular sin that had always made me feel less of a Christian. But before I share more, let me say this. This could very well be another disclaimer, LOL, but I need to get it out. I have always been hesitant to show the cross I’ve picked up. By that, I mean I don’t force my religion or my relationship with God on anyone. If I feel you’re open to talking about the goodness of Jesus, we can have that conversation for hours because He has been so good to me.

For a lot of people, I’ve been someone they can confide in about anything. They come to me knowing I won’t judge them—and I don’t. I’ve always hated that Christianity often carries a negative perception for people who don’t feel "perfect." To those of you reading this: I promise, you can still talk to me about anything. I’ve lived a life—a very sinful one. But here’s the truth: God loves me, and He loves you through it all. We aren’t perfect; we weren’t made to be perfect. I hope that makes sense because I’ve always wanted to be someone who listens without judgment. Open ears, open heart, open arms. That’s who I am and will always be.

So… something happened. Something big and amazing. While living in Columbus (even during my undergraduate years at the W), I attended Vibrant Church—my church away from my church. But I never experienced Vibrant like I did recently. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t "gone through anything" before, or maybe I hadn’t fully understood who God is. I don’t know. What I do know is this: my prayer recently has been to be obedient, to not be lukewarm, and to fully pick up my cross and wear it with no hesitation.

If I’m being honest, that prayer scared me. You might be wondering, "SCARED? Why?" Well, I was scared of missing out. Missing out on fun, missing out on indulging in the sin I mentioned earlier. But I attended Vibrant’s revival, and it was powerful. The pastor preached in a way that felt like he was speaking directly to me. That room was filled with people who were hungry for more of God, and it was beautiful.

Then, something supernatural happened that night—January 22, 2025. I experienced God in a way I never had before. He showed up for me. He showed me that He hears me. He heard my cries and reassured me: I am here with you, and I hear you. In that moment, I knew it was time for me to fully pick up my cross, to be who I’m meant to be, and to let go of fear.

When I was younger, my youth pastor, Grant Azbell, told me something that’s stuck with me ever since. Right before I graduated high school, he said, "There’s something in you, and it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with that." At the time, I shrugged it off. Honestly, I’ve always been a little scared of stepping into my purpose. I’ve been scared of a lot of things. I didn’t stand up for myself back then, not like I do now. A lot of growing has happened, and maybe everything I’ve been through was God’s way of preparing me for this moment.

Grant’s words never left me. I think about them often: "It’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with that." Last night, I decided—it’s time for me to do what God wants me to do with it. I don’t know exactly what this journey will look like, but I know what it’s not supposed to look like. I know what needs to change, and I’m ready. Nervous? Yes. But excited? Absolutely.

I’m sharing this because maybe you’re where I was—afraid to step into something bigger, afraid of what you might have to let go of. I want you to know that God sees you. He hears you. And He will walk with you every step of the way. This is the beginning of my journey, and I hope it inspires you to start yours. So, let me ask you: What’s holding you back from becoming who you’re meant to be?

We don’t have to have it all figured out. We just have to take the first step. And this is mine. What’s yours?

Authentically, 

Tam