A letter of love to the woman who shaped me

Dear Grandma, 

I never imagined living a life without you. We always said we were all each other had, and I meant it when I said I'd move mountains for you—just as you would for me. You’d even rearrange the world for me. I’ve always been grateful for you, even through the yelling and our tiny disagreements. Deep down, I knew you always had my best interests at heart, even when I didn’t want to hear it.

We talked a lot about friendships—who's a true friend and who’s not. But we never fully acknowledged the purest friendship I had of all: ours. You were, and always will be, my best friend. We had so much fun together—food runs, shopping sprees, church events, and we were just about to start traveling together. I wanted you to experience life to the fullest, to see the world and all its adventures. I know you cherished life and made the most of it. Now, you’ve got the best view.

I’m grateful that you, the girls, and I got to go on that day trip to the water park. It’s a memory they will always hold onto, the first of many more adventures we had planned. But right now, I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m in disbelief. When reality sinks in and I realize this isn’t a dream, it truly pains me. I can feel the ache in my heart and the tears in my eyes. I often find myself wondering, “How will I live without you, lady?” I know I can do it because you shaped me into this strong, independent woman. But I don’t want to do it without you. I’ve always planned everything with you at the center. God took you home for a reason, and I feel nothing but peace about you and your soul. It just hurts. I’m grateful for all the videos we have of you, of us. Grandma, I promise to make you proud in every way possible. I know you’ve been here with me, comforting me when I’m not okay and protecting me from harm I may not even see. I believe you’ll continue to do those things for me.

I am so thankful to have had a grandmother like you, to have been raised by such an amazing woman. Your heart was so kind, and everyone knew that. Now, we have to find a way to continue without our puzzle piece. Please stay near me and guide me.

See you in the morning, 

Mera